


Mixed Feelings

by Mcusekat



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: "Enemies" to Friends to Lovers, Fake AH Crew, M/M, Mentions of Sex, Mentions of Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-26
Updated: 2017-02-26
Packaged: 2018-09-27 03:44:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,536
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9954467
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mcusekat/pseuds/Mcusekat
Summary: Gavin doesn't trust the newest member of the crew, a man infamously known as the Vagabond.





	

1.

  The introduction of a new member into the main crew served as a welcome distraction to the otherwise tedious monotony that set in between heists. The nature of the new hire, the Vagabond, a ruthless and menacing killer usually hired by people who wanted to make a statement, served as further excitement. Geoff was the only one who really knew the Vagabond, or Ryan, but he enjoyed seeing the other members riled up and anxious at the thought of letting a _technical_ serial killer live in their pent, so he kept his mouth shut. They knew, reasonably, that Geoff wouldn't allow anyone he deemed a threat in such close quarters, but then again it _was_ Geoff.

  Gavin was as curious about the man as anyone else. He hadn't talked to the man beyond cursory introductions, and never one-on-one, but, frankly, he was a bit scared to be alone with him. He didn't make a habit of finding himself prone with people he didn't yet trust. But, that day Geoff, Jack, and Michael went to see a movie without him. He had work that needed to be done, so he'd declined their invitation when it was offered.

  He stayed mostly confined to his room. Ryan was a fairly quiet person, being an assassin and all, so Gavin didn't hear him much as he moved about the house. He was almost completely moved in, so he carted what few possessions he had packed up in boxes down the hall to his room. Gavin wasn't even aware he was in the flat, just that he lived there now. He just assumed he was out and about, doing whatever it was that the Vagabond did.

  So when Gavin stepped out of his room and ran right into Ryan's solid chest he near jumped out of his skin.

  “Oh, hey, sorry. Gavin, right?” Ryan said, placing a gentle hand on Gavin's elbow to steady him.

  Gavin just balked at him, searching for a reply. His brain was telling him to run, because Ryan- The Vagabond- was almost certainly going to kill him where he stood for daring to happen upon his path of travel. He couldn't supply any words, or any more logical plan of action in general, so he did just that. He backed quickly into his room and shut the door. On the other side he heard Ryan mutter, “Alright,” then stride back down the hall to his room.

 

2.

  As the crew got used to it's new member, they fell back into the same old routine as normal. Geoff was working with the B-Team on a new heist for the crew. It was smaller, just to test out how they functioned with their plus one, but the whole crew was glad to finally have something to do.

  Ryan and Gavin didn't talk much since their encounter in the hall. Even though nothing had happened, it still only served to cement Gavin's fear of Ryan. Instead, Gavin studied him from afar. At the end of the day when they were gathered in the planning room, recapping what Geoff had discussed with the B-Team, Gavin would stare at Ryan and try to learn about him. He didn't learn much, as he was mostly just listening to Geoff, but he did learn that he was quite a handsome man. Good bone structure, his hair was long and usually tied up, but sometimes a few unruly strands would fall from the bun and around his face. He usually tucked them behind his ear in an unconscious action. He also learned that he had issues with sitting still for long periods of time. When Geoff droned on for too long he would fidget with a pen, usually deconstructing it into a pile of assorted parts. They never quite worked the same when he put them back together, so the pent was suddenly flooded with only somewhat functioning pens. It made Gavin wonder how he did his job, and if he brought along pens to destroy to keep him occupied as he waited for his target.

  It almost became a game for Gavin, watching Ryan. He felt quite like Jane Goodall, learning the habits of this man from how he lived in his natural environment. As long as this man wasn't paying him any mind or wasn't within arm's length he was somewhat okay with having him around. There was enough of them there that no one noticed of Gavin didn't speak to Ryan at all, and Ryan hardly ever said anything that Gavin specifically had to reply to.

  They were sat around the table at a busy restaurant. The din of the restaurant was loud, with clinking plates and the chatter of nearly a hundred different people all eating and talking.

  They didn't eat out much, but it was a special occasion. Their first heist as a complete crew had been a wild success, and Geoff was thrilled to begin on the main heist, the one he'd had in mind for years. Thus, they had to get drunk and eat at an overpriced restaurant to celebrate. They crammed into a booth at the back and ordered all the most expensive things. Gavin was between Michael and Jeremy. He had been talking excitedly to Michael about something or another, so he hadn't noticed that he had been sat directly from Ryan.

  It wasn't quite fear, but embarrassment that he felt when he'd noticed this.

  “Trade me seats, Michael,” Gavin said quickly, pushing to get out of his seat.

  Michael looked confused. “What? No,” he said, holding his ground.

  “Michael, please?”

  “Fuck you, no,” he said, face contorted in confusion.

  “Michael!”

  Michael turned away from Gavin, arms crossed and firmly rooted in place. Gavin pushed against him, but realized he wasn't going to budge so he began looking for other routes. Upon doing so he realized that their small squabble seemed to attract the eyes of Geoff and Ryan, who were looking at them now with their brows furrowed. Gavin's froze in place.

  “You alright?” Ryan asked, the corner of his lip turned up in a smirk.

  Ryan might as well have punched him, because that's how Gavin felt right then.

  “Y-yeah, top,” he said, eyes looking everywhere but at Ryan.

  Geoff frowned. He felt the beginnings of a realization forming in his head. Then an idea. 

 

3.

  There was a lot of work that went into a heist, and Geoff delegated it amongst the B-Team and the main crew. The main crew was usually tasked with the more dangerous jobs, like meeting with gun dealers to acquire more ammo. Thus, when Geoff told Gavin he had a job, Gavin wasn't surprised. He got dressed and met Geoff in the meeting room.

  He froze in the doorway like an invisible barrier had appeared in the frame. Geoff was chatting with Ryan who, for all intents and purposes, looked ready for a job. The glint of a well cleaned gun shone from beneath his jacket and his hair was pulled back into a more secure tie. Gavin swallowed, collected himself, and proceeded into the room.

  “Hey Gav,” Geoff said with that mischievous smirk of his. Ryan greeted him as well with a friendly smile.

  “What's, uh, what's the job,” he asked. He stuck his hands into the pockets of his jeans.

  “Not much, just a hit job. The target, Edgar Cole, is rumored to be working with the LSPD so we're going to grab him and interrogate him before the heist starts.”

  “Isn't that something that the- Ryan can do on his own? Why do I have to go?” he complained. He knew why, and I was because Geoff is an asshole. There was zero reason why the Fake AH Crew's resident tech guy had to accompany Ryan on a hit.

  “You're doing it at the guys house. I want you to get his hard drives and look for any sign he might be in cahoots with the cops while Ryan grabs him. It shouldn't take long. Capisce?”

  Gavin nodded and bit his tongue to keep the snide remark from falling out.

  “Okay. You have an hour before you head out.”

  Gavin didn't need much for the job. He grabbed a duffel, equipped a few light guns under a coat, then stood in his room for the remaining 30 minutes and tried to ease his nerves. He didn't want to do this. He wanted  to be back in bed, with several closed doors and walls between himself and Ryan. Furthermore, he had planned on sleeping all day and maybe playing a few games for a couple hours, not going on a job.

  When his 30 minutes were up he was more frustrated with Geoff than he was frightened of the Vagabond. That only lasted until he walked into the garage and found him leaning against his car with a cigarette dangling between his fingers. He half waved at Gavin when he entered, and Gavin froze.

  “I'm almost done,” he said, then flicked the cherry onto the cement. Gavin nodded stiffly, then crossed to the other side of the car and climbed in.

  Ryan's car was a coup, with suicide doors and a sleek, matte black paint job. The inside was impeccably clean, and it smelled like the cherry air freshener hanging from the rearview mirror. Gavin tried to relax into the seat, but it was designed for style, not comfort. He fidgeted awkwardly until the driver's side door opened and Ryan climbed in. He buckled up, which Gavin found oddly humorous, then looked over at Gavin.

  “Ready?” he asked.

  Gavin nodded, fingers tight around the bag on his lap.

  “Don't be so worried, it's just one guy,” Ryan said, reaching over and patting Gavin's shoulder lightly before starting the car. Gavin felt frozen in place. He stared silently out the window until they were parked outside the supposed traitor's flat in East Los Santos.

  They climbed out of the car silently. It was already dim out, the only sign that it was the middle of winter in temperate San Andreas. Still, Gavin shivered. He held the duffel bag close to him and followed Ryan by a few strides. They entered the building. Gavin glanced at the security cameras, knowing they weren't an issue as Geoff owned this building. The ones on the outside and in the lobby of the building were the only functional ones, and only Jack, Geoff, and Gavin had access to those. Once they were inside the flat Ryan could could kill Gavin and tell him that Edgar had done it and Geoff would be none the wiser.

  There was no issue as they made their way up to the room. The apartment building was fairly small, only four storeys. They could hear TVs and talking as they crept down the hall to the room marked 21D, where Cole lived.

  Ryan tested the doorknob once, found it locked, and gestured for Gavin to keep an eye out while he picked it open. When it finally slipped open, they both crept inside to the apartment. It was completely dark, which was odd as it was barely sunset.

  Gavin broke away from Ryan in search of Edgar's computer. The man's laptop was on the table. Gavin opened it, found it off, then flipped it over and began shimmying it open with his screwdriver. The hard drive popped out and he slipped it into his bag.

  Ryan was nowhere to be seen. Gavin didn't care. If something had gone wrong, he would know.

  The silence of the apartment left a lot of room for thought, though. As Gavin walked through the hallway he couldn't help but imagine what he would do if Ryan was in trouble. Gavin was a good shot and an effective killer, but the hands-on stuff wasn't his area of expertise. He could probably get the job done if the guy attacked but this was supposed to be a stealth mission. A gunshot would attract unwanted attention, and Gavin couldn't bring an alleged cop down with his hands alone.

  He found the guy's office at the end of the hall and, more importantly, his main computer. He got to work with a screwdriver and began taking apart the computer tower until he located the hard drive. He was unscrewing it from the rest of the computer when he heard the door creak open behind him. Fear shot through him and he swung around in time to see the barrel of a gun trained on his forehead.

  He yelped in surprise, then threw his hands up in surrender.

  “I'm unarmed, please!” Gavin lied.

  “Is anyone with you?”

  Gavin shook his head. “I'm alone. I was just supposed to collect your hard drives and get out.”

  He kept his eyes on Cole's, occasionally looking down at the barrel of the gun. He heard no sign of Ryan, but he silently prayed for him to show up. He must've heard him and Cole talking.

  “Keep your hands where I can see them. If you move an inch I will shoot,” he said. His hands were steady, but he could tell the man was nervous by the way his eyes kept flickering down the halls. He didn't believe that Gavin was alone.

  He stepped into the room and grabbed the doorknob to close them in, but a hand reached out and stopped it before it closed. Edgar's eyes went wide and he swung around to point his gun at Ryan, but Ryan grabbed his wrist and jerked the barrel away from him, then used his grip on Edgar's arm to twist him around and shove him against the door. The gun fell, and Gavin hurried to grab it before Edgar had the chance. Ryan had a good grip, though, and Edgar was smart enough to know he couldn't get out of this. He didn't fight as Ryan cuffed his hands behind his back

  Once Edgar was subdued he turned to Gavin.

  “Are you okay?” he asked. Gavin was shocked to see that he was worried about him. Shocked enough to not recoil when Ryan placed a hand on Gavin's cheek.

  “Y-yeah,” he stammered, breathless. For a split second, Ryan smirked. It was still enough to make Gavin flush with embarrassment.

  Ryan helped Gavin to his feet. He felt sort of dazed from everything, including the odd shift in emotions he felt when Ryan touched him. He said nothing as they loaded Edgar into truck and drove to the hostage point, then home. It was nighttime now, and Gavin just wanted to sleep.

 

4.

  Things escalated from there. It took about a week for Gavin to come to terms with the fact that Ryan wasn't going to murder him at the soonest possible chance, and that he even perhaps cared about his well-being. After that, however, it was a quick tumble into something more likened to romantic than friendly.

  Gavin found himself trying to find every opportunity to be near to Ryan as possible, despite lingering reservations. However, rather than fear Gavin was more embarrassed to be around Ryan. Embarrassed that he felt such strong emotions towards him and embarrassed that he ever felt so terrified of the man. Gavin was always very astute when it came to other people's emotions so he sometimes thought he saw signs of Ryan reciprocating his feelings. Still, he couldn't act on a hunch. He was finally friendly with Ryan, and he didn't want to erase all the progress he'd made thus far.

  Still, it was hard to shake those instances where Ryan reciprocated. Like when Gavin flirted. He flirted with everyone as a joke, but Ryan would always flirt back. For example, a bout of boredom had spurned a long session of hypothetical questions. As the night progressed they got increasingly more sexual and intrusive. Gavin had asked the question “Have you ever taken money on exchange for sex?” And Ryan replied “Why? Are you looking to buy?”

  Everyone had laughed, but that, paired with the suggestive smirk Ryan sent him had flustered Gavin. He quickly gathered himself and teased “Hypothetically, how much would I have to pay?”

  “Who said I'd make you pay?”

  Ryan hardly ever went so far. Usually he'd crack a joke calling Gavin desperate or something, but he so rarely flirted back to that extent. For a split second Gavin thought he had a chance, but they were all in high spirits from the heist and he brushed it off as Ryan being in a good mood.

  However, Gavin dwelled on this- and the many similar incidents- much more than could be healthy. He thought of it as perhaps Ryan being aware of Gavin's crush and making a cruel joke at his expense. But Ryan wasn't like that. He joked at Gavin's expense quite a bit but it was always banter, he'd never intentionally hurt Gavin's feelings like that. Then he got it in his mind that maybe, just maybe Ryan liked him back. He overthought the smaller actions as well as the joke. Like when Ryan touched his cheek. He'd initially brushed it off as a friendly touch but Ryan hardly ever touched the other guys, much less caressed their cheeks. Ryan was often very touchy with Gavin but in very natural, casual ways so that Gavin never realized how touchy feely Ryan had been until later that night when Gavin was thinking about it. Things like a touch on the arm when he was laughing at something or a hand on his back when he walked by. After he realized this he started to pay more attention to Ryan and noticed that he never did this with the other guys. Gavin felt like quite the conspiracy theorist but he felt like this was too much to just ignore.

  It was during a party when everything came to a head. There was a reason Gavin didn't drink much, and it was because he had a tendency to spill his emotions when the slightest amounts of alcohol hit his bloodstream. However, it was Geoff's birthday and he wanted to let loose. He placed himself opposite Ryan and started on the top shelf bourbon with Michael and Lindsay.

  However, by 11pm he had found his way to Ryan. He had seemed to have had a few drinks as well, if his easy smile and swaying stance were anything to go by. Ryan very rarely drank but when he did he tried to get drunk.

  Gavin greeted him with a hug and a loud “Rye-bread! I've been looking all over for you. Where've you been?”

  Ryan shrugged. “Been here all night.”

  Gavin brushed this off and leaned on the bannister close to where Ryan was. Close enough to rest his head on Ryan's shoulder.

  “You know,” Gavin started, “I used to be quite scared of you.”

  Ryan almost looked hurt. “Really?”

  “Yes. I'm not anymore, though. I just think you're lovely now. Lovely Ryan.”

  Ryan raised a brow. “Lovely?” he echoed.

  “Very lovely. Even though you tease me and lead me on, I still think you're lovely.”

  Ryan frowned, quiet for a moment as he thought. “Lead you on?”

  “Yes. You flirt with me n stuff like you like me but you don't. Like me I mean. Not like how I like you at least.”

  Ryan thought more. “Well, for what it's worth I don't mean to lead you on. I like you. A lot.” His hand moved to slide up Gavin's back. Then down, slowly. Gavin shivered at the touch. His eyes closed inadvertently.

  Before he knew it Ryan was kissing him. His drunk brain was slow to process what was happening but when he realized he eagerly kissed back. His hands came up to grip the front of Ryan's coat and huddle him closer, then slid up to tangle in his hair. He'd let it down, which wasn't something he did often. It was long enough to rest on his shoulders, the perfect length for Gavin to tangle his fingers in.

  Ryan moaned into his mouth and Gavin was spurred into action, slotting their bodies so every inch of them was touching, but the door opened and Ryan pulled away before they could go any further.

  Gavin was dazed. He looked over at Ryan, wiping the back of his hand over his mouth, then at Michael. Gavin was suddenly possessed with the urge to drag him back into the kiss. The only thing that kept him from doing this was Michael speaking.

  “Geoff is making tequila shots if you want some, boi,” Michael said.

  “No thanks, boi. Tequila makes me sick,” he said. It wasn't a complete lie; he hardly ever didn't vomit after tequila, but it was more about getting Ryan into his bed than it was about not wanting to be sick.

  As soon as the door closed behind Michael Gavin was pulling Ryan down the hall to his room.

  Gavin woke the next morning to someone patting his nightstand. He woke up and raised his head, which had been resting on a bare back, and saw Ryan with his face still in his pillow searching for something on the nightstand. When he didn't find what he was looking for he raised up and made a noise of confusion.

  Gavin rolled off of him. They were both in various stages of undress. The only thing out of place on Gavin was his trousers, which had been hitched to his knees with the belt and button still done. Ryan was missing a shirt but other than that dressed completely. Gavin didn't miss the bruise high on his throat, or the sequential bruises on his collar, shoulder, and chest. For a moment he panicked. Ryan was still half asleep, processing his surroundings, so he had time to come up with something to say to him. He wasn't sure how he'd react when he noticed he was in Gavin's bed. They hadn't done anything beyond some particularly intense snogging, so he had that at least. Still, it was a boundary that friends don't cross.

  Finally, Ryan shifted to face Gavin. “Hey Gav,” he said. The corner of his mouth turned up in a smirk when he realized what had happened. “I suppose we should talk?”

  “Yeah,” Gavin said.

  Ryan climbed out of the bed and fixed himself. His clothes were hopelessly wrinkled and his hair was messy, but he tried his best to repair himself. He found his coat on the floor and pulled it on, then patted the pockets and found his phone and smokes.

  The rest of the house was quiet as everyone slept off hangovers. The maids had cleaned the place up nicely, he couldn't even tell that around fifty people had gotten drunk there the night before. They stepped onto the balcony and Ryan lit a cigarette. He blew the smoke away from Gavin.

  “Before we start, I'd like to lay all my cards into the table. Everything I said last night was true. I never meant to lead you on, and I really do like you a lot. Enough to pursue a relationship, if you want.”

  He leaned against the rail and took a long drag of his cigarette. Gavin stared at him a moment. The sun rising behind him made his hair look almost translucent. Gavin wanted to touch it, touch him. That morning, before reality set in and it was just he and Ryan curled into each other, was bliss.

  “I would like that,” he finally said. “I-I really would.”

  Ryan grinned. Gavin climbed up and, slowly, leaned in and kissed him. He tangled his hands in Ryan's hair, like he'd wanted, and Ryan responded by wrapping his arms around his waist.

  Gavin pulled away when Ryan's fingers slid under his shirt. “Do you want to go back to my room?” he asked, a little dazed.

  Ryan shivered. “Okay,” he said. He snuffed out his cigarette and dropped it into the ashtray and let Gavin lead him back into the house. However, Geoff was in the kitchen nursing a cup of coffee and stopped them in their path.

  “Morning, assholes,” he said. Gavin froze, dropping Ryan's hand and staring at Geoff like a deer in headlights. Ryan brushed past him, patting Gavin's back while he went to snap him out of the surprise.

  “Morning, Geoffrey,” he said. He glanced quickly at Ryan and gestured at the hall. Ryan obeyed, sliding out of the kitchen and into the hall towards Gavin's room. Gavin felt jittery with the excitement to follow.

  “What were you talking about out there?” Geoff asked. He had that look that could best be described as 'mingey’ on his face. Like he'd found new fodder with which to torture Gavin with.

  “The party last night. Why?”

  Geoff shrugged. “Good party, eh? Did you have a nice time?”

  Gavin crossed his arms. “Yes,” he said curtly.

  “Yeah, according to Michael you assholes were climbing each other like trees on my balcony last night.”

  Gavin balked at him. “We weren't-”

  Geoff shrugged again. “Hey, I'm just glad you guys finally got it on.”

  Gavin huffed. “We didn't _get it on_ , we just snogged a bit.”

  “Fine, fine,” Geoff said. “Whatever.”

  Gavin couldn't think of any more words to say and Geoff seemed content to sip his coffee and smirk, so he just poured himself a cup and made his way down the hall to his room.

  Ryan was lying with his feet dangling off the foot of his bed and hands on his ribcage. Gavin climbed onto the bed and perched himself on Ryan's hips. Ryan placed his hand on Gavin's hips.

  “Hello luv,” Gavin said, smiling.

  Ryan smiled back, a wide grin that made Gavin's chest ache. “Hey, Gav,” he said.

  Gavin felt breathless. He ran his fingers over Ryan's chest, touched his face, traced the bruise just over his collarbone. Finally, he leaned down and kissed Ryan.

  He felt like he was going to burst. This was the culmination of several months of longing. For a long time this exact moment haunted his dreams. Every moment that he was with Ryan this exact scenario played in the back of his mind. He clung to the front of Ryan's shirt and deepened it. An underlying desperation had risen up now, taking hold. This was sex for him. Get off and go, and for a moment he lapsed into this old mindset. Ryan's hand on his cheek, gentle and steadying halted this.

  “I'm not going anywhere, dear,” he said, before setting the slow pace of the kiss himself.

  Ryan moved slow enough to make Gavin's heart swell, but fast enough to make it good. By the time they were both collapsed into each other Gavin felt physically and emotionally worn out. He clung to Ryan and rested his head on his chest, listening to his slowing heartbeat.

  “You’re incredible,” he muttered.

  Ryan's chuckle sounded deeper when heard from his chest. “Thank you. You weren't so bad yourself.”

  Gavin smiled. “I meant you altogether, you knob. You're a good person. I-” Gavin stopped himself from finishing that thought. No, it was much too early for that. “I'm happy you're with me.”

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave a comment if you enjoyed! I love reading through them!  
> Or follow me on Tumblr at [Mcusekat!](http://desertsongs.co.vu/)  
> Thank you!


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